David Foster Wallace worked surprising turns on nearly everything: novels, journalism, vacation. His life was an information hunt, collecting hows and whys. “I received 500,000 discrete bits of information today,” he once said, “of which maybe 25 are important. My job is to make some sense of it.” He wanted to write “stuff about what it feels like to live. Instead of being a relief from what it feels like to live.” Readers curled up in the nooks and clearings of his style: his comedy, his brilliance, his humaneness.-David Lipsky
Today, I read an article on David Foster Wallace passed on by Merlin Mann. David was a genius at his craft but was continually haunted by his own personal demons. His belief system of authenticity was so strong and yet, he himself could not live with the duplicity and errancy of being human. At the end of the reading, I cried, not so much for the loss of more great works being produced, but for the horrors he experienced daily. I am grieved for the people who hurt and mourn for him.
On the other side of the spectrum, I read a post by Joanna Young quoting an excerpt from Marianne Williamson in her book Return to Love:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
By shrinking back, we actually lower the standards of the world. Our impact and level of positive influence is minimized.
Each of us cries out for authenticity, realness and vulnerability. We yearn for this, seek it out and yet we deny ourselves the very thing we crave. We betray ourselves by not living freely in who we have been created to be. How can we claim something we ourselves are not living out? We are not only called to be, we are called to live an abundant life.
Today, I breathe in freedom, creativity, and strength… and I exhale and let go of all of the toxic lies that tell me to recoil and shrink back. Today is a day of celebration.
Great. I’m celebrating with you.